I don’t know why I cry. Maybe they’re happy tears. But I have a feeling that they are somewhat sad tears for all the people I know that don’t have the love and acceptance I have. There are so many people out there who need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen and don’t have it. And I have so many people willing to listen to what I’m feeling or hear the story of what happened to me. So thankful.
This leads me to my 21 Day Challenge for the day. Let me remind you (and myself!) what the five things we’re supposed to do to become more positive are-
1. 3 Gratitude’s
2. Journal About 1 Positive Experience That Day
5. 1 Random Act of Kindness
Three things I’m grateful for.
Well, I can start with having the support of the people in my community. When I came out as having a mental illness to my church family, there was an outpouring of support, whether it was a hug or a donation to my NAMIWalk fund. I’m lucky enough to have people in my life that support me. I don’t know what I would do without them.
Secondly, I’m thankful for the parts of my brain that still work! Sometimes I get down because I can’t remember things that happened a few years ago (because of the residual memory loss from the ECTs and the general fogginess that the Depression leaves me with) or I can’t find the right word. But you know what? I am still the smarty pants I was in high school. I still have all that intelligence in my brain somewhere and thanks to neurogenesis, I’m able to create new brain cells. How cool is that? It’s extremely cool. Also, knowing that facetious is one of the only words in the English language that has all five vowels in it in their alphabetical order is pretty awesome too, right? 😉
Thirdly, I’m thankful for the ability to reinvent myself. If I don’t like something about my appearance, I can go ahead and dye my hair (which I did today!). Or if I feel like I’m not being heard, I can try to be more assertive. I am able to be whoever I want to be. That is a blessing.
My positive experience for the day was when I went to the hair salon and got my hair dyed and cut. I was doing something for myself. I was taking time for myself. That’s something that everyone needs to do sometimes; if you don’t spend time on yourself, you might break down at an important time. So taking time for yourself is a blessing. I also needed something new in my life. I got this new drive because of the NAMI Convention and I needed a new look to go along with it. I think I did a good job!
Exercise was plentiful today. I went to physical therapy and did my work out there. My physical therapist really pushed me and I was able to do more than I thought I’d be able to do after a week of being without structured workouts. Yes, I did walk the Riverwalk in 108 degree heat but I don’t think that was an actual workout…more of a feat of God than a workout. I’m really thankful I didn’t pass out on Saturday. How embarrassing/awful would that have been? So I went to PT and also went on a walk up to the library. It only took me two Justin Timberlake songs to get there from my house. Now that’s pretty awesome if I don’t say so myself (the songs were Suit&Tie and SexyBack if you were wondering). My legs are worn out but I think that’s a good thing. I’m building muscle and that’s important for two reasons; building muscle means that I’m getting back to where I was before the second pulmonary embolism and it means that I’ll be burning more fat! Or something like that. I have no idea actually. I just do what people tell me to do and call it good. Maybe I should read some books on fitness…I’ll look into that after I finish the three books I just checkout from the online library. 😉
You know, I don’t know where I’d be without multiple daily meditations. Just being in quiet (or near quiet) helps me practice trying to clear my mind. With my OCD, my brain just goes and goes and never really stops unless I force it to by taking medications. I haven’t taken a mindfulness class (but I’d love to if I could find an affordable one around my area) but I think I practice a bit of it when I’m sitting in the quiet. While I’m lying down, I breathe and acknowledge the thoughts that go through my head. I try not to react to them but I acknowledge them and say, “These are just thoughts,” and get back to my breathing. I don’t know if this is the proper thing to do but it seems to work for me sometimes. And sometimes is definitely better than never!
My random act of kindness for the day was tipping my hairdresser well. Usually I tip 15%, but she did such a good job and made me look so wonderful that I decided to tip her more than 20%. It just felt right. I hope she realized how much of a difference she made in my day. I told her how thankful I was for her work. She thanked me for that but I don’t think she realized how much it helped my outlook.
All in all, today has been a good day. I have so many things to be thankful for, I have a slew of wonderful things that have gone on in my life, I have the ability to exercise and get strong, and my mind is just a little quieter than it was yesterday. I think we can call it a win.